While it seems trite, small talk is a critical business skill. Not every business interaction is about closing a deal. Most are about establishing relationships, especially here in NH, and they begin with small talk.
But making small talk is not easy for everyone. Before you send your employees out networking, ask yourself: Can they make small talk? You need to know, because if they can't-if they appear awkward, ill informed or aloof-they could leave customers and potential clients alike with a negative impression.
Everyone says small talk is a soft skill. Really? If it's that soft, why is it so hard? It's the one skill that-even if you have the hard' skills-can mess you up in business in a flash, says Susan RoAne, a professional speaker and author of What Do I Say Next? and How to Work a Room.
It's the Little Things
Small talk is about creating bonds, RoAne says. We need to bring who we are to what we do, she says.
That's why small talk is more important than your business pitch, says Leslie Sturgeon, founder of Women Inspiring Women, a NH organization that provides women with networking, business resources and professional development opportunities. It's about being engaged and approachable and getting to know people, she says.
Sturgeon's first recommendation may seem like business blasphemy to some-throw out the elevator speech. Why? It often sounds canned. People think it has to be just business and a 30-second pitch until the moment you leave, Sturgeon says.
Small talk is as much about listening as it is about talking. It gives you cues to the person's interests. People give us these gems for conversation and what do we do? We ignore them because that's not our agenda, RoAne says.
Sturgeon says small talk helps create an environment for people to be themselves. I think people over-think it. You just make conversation. Tell me about your business, she says. RoAne says wearing an interesting tie or pin can give people an easy conversation starter. [Former] Secretary of State Madeleine Albright always wore pins because some diplomats didn't know how to talk with a woman, so they would always start with her pin, RoAne says.
Both Sturgeon and RoAne say discussing family is a good way to establish common ground.
I learned this a long time ago when my friends started having children: If I didn't want to lose my friend, I had to develop not just a tolerance but an interest [in other people's children], RoAne says.
Context Matters
A good conversationalist tends to be well read. Before a networking event or a meeting, RoAne suggests at least scanning the top national and local news stories that day, including sports. After all, if someone brings up a big story and you don't know about it, you will appear ill informed.
There are things to avoid when making small talk. Don't monopolize the conversation, Sturgeon says. Also, don't reveal personal information that would make others uncomfortable, RoAne says, and if you are a zealot about anything, don't talk about it. And don't insert an unrelated story into a conversation. If your story has nothing to do with what the person just said, you will look like a jerk, RoAne says.
But what if a person drops a conversation bomb? How do you defuse that situation gracefully?
You can say, I appreciate that is your belief, but that's not how I see it. Let's go on to another subject.' I understand your business is X, how do you see 2012 shaping up?' Did you go to this other event by this organization?' RoAne suggests.
Small talk may sound insignificant, but it's the first step to selling your company. The smart, savvy businessperson knows their job is to make that client or customer feel comfortable with them, RoAne says. [Small talk] is how you make people want to refer business to you.
Current Issue - May 2024