There is a persistent myth in the business community that good networkers are born, and if you aren't a natural networker, then you'll never be one. This couldn't be further from the truth. Admittedly, some people are naturally more comfortable in groups and unfamiliar settings and the rest would much rather be homeor at the dentist's office for a tooth extraction.
It doesn't matter whether you work for a big company or a little one, whether you're the Grand Poobah or the janitor. Networking is a set of basic business skills that, if done right, can help you get what you want-from more business to new partnerships to better job assignments to the coveted desk by the window in the corner office. Like any skill, networking can be learned, practiced and mastered. It can also be bumbled and done poorly. Which scenario you experience is completely up to you.
If you've ever met someone new, made a friend or done something nice for someone else, then you have the skills necessary to become a good networker. The term networking has become overused, but at its core, it's really just about connecting with people and building relationships. When you approach it with that mindset, it's not so intimidating.
Planting the Seed
Networking is a long-term endeavor, one you must invest in over time to make worthwhile. It is certainly not about what someone can do for you today, or in the short term. In fact, you should always take the other person's agenda seriously and be prepared to offer as much or more than you would ask. Consider what you can do for that person or how you can help them achieve their goals. That goes a long way toward building a meaningful business relationship the same way it does in your personal life.
Think about your network like a garden, with each person you meet as a seed to plant. Some will blossom into beautiful flowers. Some will turn out to be weeds and some won't grow at all. However, that garden isn't going to grow unless you tend to it, water the plants, pull the weeds and fertilize as necessary. And, much like a garden, it will take some time to grow into something beautiful.
Is the Ask Appropriate?
Networks are very useful once you know how to use them. Each person you connect with might have a different purpose: one that refers you business; one that invites you to join a board or committee; one to have a glass of wine with at events; one to recommend good books or movies.
When it comes time to activate your network, consider the strength of the relationship in context to what you're asking. You wouldn't ask a casual social acquaintance to borrow their sports car or stay at their lake house. Give the same consideration to your business associates and the requests you make of them.
Pre-Event Prep
These tips and tricks can help you become more confident when you find yourself at a business event or faced with a networking opportunity.
1. Set a goal for the event. Why are you there? What would you consider a success when you go home tonight?
2. Prepare your elevator speech ahead of time. There's nothing worse than fumbling your words when someone asks what you do. Craft an answer that leaves openings for your conversation partner to ask questions. Make it open ended. Use statements like, I help, I work with, or I specialize in, or I'm looking for.
3. Prepare some small talk ahead of time. OK, the thing that actually is worse than fumbling the what do you do question is the awkward silence. Not everyone is a master of small talk, so before you leave the office or head to the event take a look at some local or sports or entertainment headlines so you always have something current and interesting to say to fill silent moments.
The Don'ts
Small talk should never involve the topics of sex, politics or religion-unless you want to alienate and offend the people you meet. Stick with less divisive topics.
And if you're attending an event with your colleagues, break away from the group. You're not there to hang out with them; you can do that at the office. You're there to make connections with people you don't already know or ones you're developing relationships with. If you've got a friend or colleague who's hanging on, tell them you want to meet so-and-so tonight and that you'll connect with them after the event to compare notes.
Getting Carded
Two notes about business cards:
1. You don't get any points for handing out the most cards at an event, or collecting the most. Be judicious in handing them out. Trade cards after you've had a meaningful exchange and you intend to follow-up afterwards. A stack of strangers' cards does you and your business no good. (And adding them to your company email list just because you have their contact information is legally considered spam.)
2. Events can be a whirlwind, overwhelming and information overload. Do yourself a favor: When you get home, take a look at the cards you received and make a note on the back with the date and name of the event as well as anything you talked about. This will help you when you go to follow up with them, whether it's the following week or month or longer.
After the Event
Remember that your network is a living creature and needs tending. Add a task or appointment to your schedule so you remember to check in with people in your network. Find reasons to reconnect with people, even if it's only a few times a year. Follow-up and continued contact is what builds solid relationships and identifies you as someone to remember.
Finally, please remember to say thank you to anyone who has taken the time to help you or provide information of any kind. A thank you note is appropriate for anyone who has met with you in person, made an introduction or referral. Saying thank you goes a long way and is not as standard as you might think. This is a really easy-and classy-way to stand out from the crowd. L
Stephanie McLaughlin is the principal of Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications in Manchester, a company she founded more than five years ago and built-
almost completely-on networking. For more information, visit www.savoirfaire-us.com.
Social networking-in most cases-is the icing, not the cake. These tools can augment a relationship better than they can build one. When using social media for business purposes, consider the age of the person you're networking with and take a good look at how they're using the tools. Younger people in the workplace use social networking differently than those who have been around for a generation or two. You're unlikely to create a solid relationship with someone older than 30 using only social media. However, noting the updates or photos someone posts can give you something to talk about the next time you see them.
Current Issue - April 2024